“You’re so resilient.”

We’ve heard it. Maybe we’ve said it. And yes—resilience is admirable. But when it becomes the expected coping mechanism for women in leadership, especially in public service, we have to ask:

What if the problem isn’t that women need to be tougher?
What if the problem is that the systems we lead in are too broken?

In a world that demands women be strong, calm, nurturing, brilliant, available, and unshakeable—all at once—we’re overdue for a conversation not about how women can keep adapting, but how systems must evolve.

The Grit Trap

Let’s be clear: grit is valuable. But it’s also often glorified in a way that masks deeper problems. Studies show women are more likely to be promoted for past performance, while men are promoted based on potential. Women in leadership face the “double bind,” needing to be assertive and likable, confident and self-deprecating. And despite all this juggling, they’re still underrepresented at the top.

The American Psychological Association reports women are disproportionately affected by chronic stress—stemming from a combination of workplace bias, homefront responsibilities, and invisible emotional labor.

Yet when burnout strikes, the response is often personal: “Take a day off.” “Go to a wellness webinar.” “Try yoga.”

The implication? If you’re struggling, it’s your responsibility to bounce back. (Again.)

The Real Problem: Broken Structures, Not Broken Women

The truth is, no amount of bubble baths or mindfulness apps will fix a workplace that demands too much and gives too little. The answer isn’t better self-care. It’s systemic care.

According to McKinsey & Company’s 2023 “Women in the Workplace” report:

  • Only 1 in 4 C-suite leaders is a woman.
  • Women are more likely than men to experience microaggressions and be interrupted in meetings.
  • Women leaders are leaving companies at higher rates than ever—citing burnout and lack of advancement.

The message is clear: it’s not resilience women are missing. It’s support, opportunity, and change.

Leadership in Action: Interior Secretary Deb Haaland

If you want to see what structural change actually looks like, look no further than former Secretary of the Interior under President Joe Biden, Deb Haaland. As one of the first two Native American women to serve in Congress (along with Representative Sharice Davids of Kansas, a member of the Ho-Chunk Nation of Minnesota, elected simultaneously) and the first Native American woman to serve as a U.S. Cabinet secretary, Haaland prioritized a crisis long ignored by the federal government: the epidemic of missing and murdered Indigenous women.

Instead of simply acknowledging the trauma and calling for awareness, Haaland created the Missing & Murdered Unit (MMU) within the Bureau of Indian Affairs. This team investigates unsolved cases, coordinates across agencies, and ensures families aren’t left in the dark.

That’s leadership rooted in justice. Not resilience. Structural change.

“We are responding to the cries of those who have searched for their loved ones for decades without answers. The Missing and Murdered Unit will provide the resources and leadership to prioritize these cases.”
– Secretary Deb Haaland

Strategies for Building a Better System

If you’re ready to move your organization beyond the burnout-and-bounce-back cycle, here are strategies to help shift from a culture of survival to a culture of sustainability:

1. Redesign Roles for Real Life

Audit workload. Eliminate redundancy. Share the load. Resilience shouldn’t be required just to meet your job description.

2. Make Inclusion Measurable

Regardless of the current political climate, recognize that diversity, equity and inclusion make all organizations stronger. Bias training is not enough without follow-through.

3. Normalize Mental Health Support

Provide trauma-informed leadership training. Cover therapy in your benefits. Talk about burnout out loud.

4. Build Flexibility Into the Culture

Make remote, compressed schedules, and flex hours standard options—not special exceptions. If the pandemic taught us anything, it’s that WFA (work from anywhere) programs benefit the organization as much as the employees.

5. Invest in Leadership Pipelines

Create mentorship, sponsorship, and leadership development programs for women and BIPOC employees. Open the door—and keep it open.

6. Design for Caregivers

Support parental leave. Create return-to-work ramps. Offer job sharing and value outcomes, not face time.

7. Act on Employee Feedback

Conduct regular check-ins and pulse surveys—but don’t just collect the data. Respond to it, act on it, and communicate what changed.

Let’s Redefine What Strong Looks Like

We don’t need more women who can “do it all.”
We need systems where no one, male or female, has to.

Leadership isn’t about how much pain you can withstand. It’s about how much change you can create.

And that’s what The Pink Briefcase is here for: not to tell women to be tougher, but to help them lead in ways that make the whole system better—for themselves, their teams, and the generations coming up behind them.