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When You’re the First or the Only: Thriving as a Trailblazer in Government: Stories and Strategies for Leading When no one Looks Like You

There’s a moment in almost every woman’s career in government when she walks into a room, scans the crowd, and realizes something quietly profound: I’m the only one here. The only woman. The only person of color. The youngest voice. The first of her kind in a long line of men in suits.

It’s exhilarating. It’s terrifying. And it’s lonely.

But if you’ve felt that moment—or you’re living it now—this post is for you. You’re not alone, even when it feels like you are.

The Burden of the “First”

Being the first or only isn’t just about cracking glass ceilings. It’s about living under the constant pressure to be perfect, to represent everyone who looks like you, and to prove—over and over—that you belong.

Trailblazing often comes with:

  • Isolation – No one to confide in who shares your lived experience.
  • Imposter Syndrome – The fear that someone made a mistake letting you in the room.
  • Overwork – The unspoken (and sometimes spoken) expectation that you have to work twice as hard to earn half the credit.
  • Representation Fatigue – Feeling like you’re expected to speak for all women, or all Latinas, or all Black women, or all LGBTQ+ people instead of just leading as you.

But here’s the truth: Trailblazers don’t walk easy roads. They walk necessary ones. And when they do, they carve space for others to follow.

Women Who Led Anyway

Madeleine Albright

When she became the first female Secretary of State, Albright didn’t just break a barrier—she redecorated the room. She famously said, “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” But she also admitted to the burden of being a diplomatic pioneer while managing her identity as a woman in a male-dominated arena.

Mary McLeod Bethune

As an advisor to FDR and the only Black woman at the table, Bethune used her position to open doors for thousands. She founded the National Council of Negro Women and famously said, “I leave you hope.” But before that, she faced ridicule, dismissal, and exclusion. She kept going anyway—anchored by a belief that representation is not just a symbol, but a strategy.

Carol Moseley Braun

When she took her seat as the first Black woman elected to the U.S. Senate, she carried a triple burden: race, gender, and high expectations. She faced aggressive scrutiny from the press and her peers. And yet, she stayed grounded in her mission: “I’m not representing a race or a gender. I’m representing ideas.”

Hallie Caraway

At just 25, Caraway became the youngest person and first Black woman to chair the Alaska State Commission for Human Rights. Her youth and race were often questioned—but she turned criticism into momentum, proving that conviction matters more than conformity.

Frances Perkins

The first woman to serve in a presidential cabinet (as Secretary of Labor under FDR), Perkins only accepted the job after FDR promised to back her sweeping reforms. She walked into rooms where no woman had ever been invited—and left with the New Deal in her wake. But her legacy was hard-earned; she was often dismissed as “too ambitious.”

Elaine Chao

As the first Asian American woman appointed to a cabinet position, Chao navigated cultural expectations, public scrutiny, and political complexity with stoic determination. Her presence in the cabinet proved that Asian American women belong in the halls of power—even if few had walked those halls before her.

Sandra Day O’Connor

The first woman on the Supreme Court knew the weight of being “the first.” She once said, “The power I exert on the court depends on the power of my arguments, not my gender.” Still, she faced skepticism, sexist commentary, and even the assumption she was someone’s secretary—until she opened her mouth and delivered rulings that shaped the nation.

Hillary Clinton

Whether you love her or not, Hillary Clinton’s experience of being the only woman in the room—again and again—is undeniable. From First Lady to Senator to Secretary of State to first presidential candidate from a major party, she’s absorbed criticism that male counterparts never would. She once said, “If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.” Behind the sarcasm was a deeper truth: being a woman in politics means being scrutinized at every turn.

Strategies for Thriving, Not Just Surviving

Here’s what we can learn from these women—and what every trailblazer should keep in her toolbox:

1. Build a Support Network Outside the Room

When you’re the only one in the room, make sure you’re not the only one in your life. Find your mentors, sister circle, and peer advisors—people who understand your fight and remind you you’re not crazy.

2. Don’t Let the Room Define You

Walk in with your values anchored and your vision clear. You’re not there to blend in. You’re there to change the tone. Own your perspective—it’s exactly what the room has been missing.

3. Use Your Platform to Lift Others

Bethune. Perkins. Albright. All of them made it a point to hold the door open for the next woman. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be visible—and extend a hand when you can.

4. Name the Bias—Then Navigate It Strategically

Yes, you may face assumptions, interruptions, or invisible standards. You don’t have to internalize them—but recognizing them helps you choose your response instead of reacting in the moment.

5. Celebrate the Win, Even When It’s Small

Being the first means paving a road that didn’t exist before. That’s exhausting. Give yourself permission to rest, recharge, and be proud. You’re changing systems by showing up.


Final Word: You Belong Here

To every woman who’s ever looked around and thought, Why am I the only one here?—know this:

You’re not alone. You’re not an accident. You’re not a placeholder.

You’re a blueprint.

Keep going.

Resilience Is Not the Goal: Why Women Leaders Deserve Structural Support—Not Just Grit

“You’re so resilient.”

We’ve heard it. Maybe we’ve said it. And yes—resilience is admirable. But when it becomes the expected coping mechanism for women in leadership, especially in public service, we have to ask:

What if the problem isn’t that women need to be tougher?
What if the problem is that the systems we lead in are too broken?

In a world that demands women be strong, calm, nurturing, brilliant, available, and unshakeable—all at once—we’re overdue for a conversation not about how women can keep adapting, but how systems must evolve.

The Grit Trap

Let’s be clear: grit is valuable. But it’s also often glorified in a way that masks deeper problems. Studies show women are more likely to be promoted for past performance, while men are promoted based on potential. Women in leadership face the “double bind,” needing to be assertive and likable, confident and self-deprecating. And despite all this juggling, they’re still underrepresented at the top.

The American Psychological Association reports women are disproportionately affected by chronic stress—stemming from a combination of workplace bias, homefront responsibilities, and invisible emotional labor.

Yet when burnout strikes, the response is often personal: “Take a day off.” “Go to a wellness webinar.” “Try yoga.”

The implication? If you’re struggling, it’s your responsibility to bounce back. (Again.)

The Real Problem: Broken Structures, Not Broken Women

The truth is, no amount of bubble baths or mindfulness apps will fix a workplace that demands too much and gives too little. The answer isn’t better self-care. It’s systemic care.

According to McKinsey & Company’s 2023 “Women in the Workplace” report:

  • Only 1 in 4 C-suite leaders is a woman.
  • Women are more likely than men to experience microaggressions and be interrupted in meetings.
  • Women leaders are leaving companies at higher rates than ever—citing burnout and lack of advancement.

The message is clear: it’s not resilience women are missing. It’s support, opportunity, and change.

Leadership in Action: Interior Secretary Deb Haaland

If you want to see what structural change actually looks like, look no further than former Secretary of the Interior under President Joe Biden, Deb Haaland. As one of the first two Native American women to serve in Congress (along with Representative Sharice Davids of Kansas, a member of the Ho-Chunk Nation of Minnesota, elected simultaneously) and the first Native American woman to serve as a U.S. Cabinet secretary, Haaland prioritized a crisis long ignored by the federal government: the epidemic of missing and murdered Indigenous women.

Instead of simply acknowledging the trauma and calling for awareness, Haaland created the Missing & Murdered Unit (MMU) within the Bureau of Indian Affairs. This team investigates unsolved cases, coordinates across agencies, and ensures families aren’t left in the dark.

That’s leadership rooted in justice. Not resilience. Structural change.

“We are responding to the cries of those who have searched for their loved ones for decades without answers. The Missing and Murdered Unit will provide the resources and leadership to prioritize these cases.”
– Secretary Deb Haaland

Strategies for Building a Better System

If you’re ready to move your organization beyond the burnout-and-bounce-back cycle, here are strategies to help shift from a culture of survival to a culture of sustainability:

1. Redesign Roles for Real Life

Audit workload. Eliminate redundancy. Share the load. Resilience shouldn’t be required just to meet your job description.

2. Make Inclusion Measurable

Regardless of the current political climate, recognize that diversity, equity and inclusion make all organizations stronger. Bias training is not enough without follow-through.

3. Normalize Mental Health Support

Provide trauma-informed leadership training. Cover therapy in your benefits. Talk about burnout out loud.

4. Build Flexibility Into the Culture

Make remote, compressed schedules, and flex hours standard options—not special exceptions. If the pandemic taught us anything, it’s that WFA (work from anywhere) programs benefit the organization as much as the employees.

5. Invest in Leadership Pipelines

Create mentorship, sponsorship, and leadership development programs for women and BIPOC employees. Open the door—and keep it open.

6. Design for Caregivers

Support parental leave. Create return-to-work ramps. Offer job sharing and value outcomes, not face time.

7. Act on Employee Feedback

Conduct regular check-ins and pulse surveys—but don’t just collect the data. Respond to it, act on it, and communicate what changed.

Let’s Redefine What Strong Looks Like

We don’t need more women who can “do it all.”
We need systems where no one, male or female, has to.

Leadership isn’t about how much pain you can withstand. It’s about how much change you can create.

And that’s what The Pink Briefcase is here for: not to tell women to be tougher, but to help them lead in ways that make the whole system better—for themselves, their teams, and the generations coming up behind them.

Your Voice Called – It Wants A Seat At The Leadership Table

If you want to become a better leader, start with your voice.

Not your “radio voice” or a rehearsed stage persona—but the real, resonant voice that emerges when you speak with clarity, conviction, and purpose. Because every time you speak—whether you’re giving a presentation, sharing an idea in a meeting, or just weighing in during a hallway chat—you’re leading.

That’s the core message we explored at the Arizona Municipal Clerks Institute this March: Speaking *is* leadership. And here’s why that connection matters more than ever.

A Speaker *Is* a Leader

We tend to separate “public speaking” from “leadership,” as if one happens in conference rooms and the other behind podiums. But leadership is communication in motion. Every time you speak, you influence: decisions, direction, culture. Your tone, timing, and truthfulness shape how people engage with your vision.

Great leaders don’t just issue directives—they connect. And that connection is built through voice.

Why Speaking Equals Leading

Let’s break it down:

🗣 1. Your Words Influence
From the boardroom to the break room, your words set a tone. Purposeful communication inspires trust and guides action. It’s not about being polished—it’s about being clear, grounded, and intentional.

🎯 2. People Judge Leaders by Their Voice
Like it or not, people assess your competence based on how you speak. A great idea, poorly communicated, will fall flat. But confidence, clarity, and conviction? That gets buy-in.

🌉 3. Speaking Is the Bridge Between Vision and Action
You may have a compelling vision—but unless you can share it in a way that moves people, it won’t go anywhere. Public speaking turns strategy into momentum.

🧭 4. Poor Communication Derails Leadership
Confusion, hesitation, disengagement—all symptoms of vague or absent communication. Leadership thrives on clarity. And clarity requires courage and effort.

💗 5. Speaking Well Shows You Care
People can feel it when a leader speaks from the heart. Empathy, storytelling, listening—these aren’t soft skills. They’re power tools for building trust and inspiring action.

Your Leadership Voice: What’s Your Style?

You don’t need to be a “natural” speaker. But you *do* need to know your voice—and grow it.

There are four distinct “voices of leadership”. Which one feels most like you?

– 🧠 The Teacher – You simplify, explain, and guide.
– 🔥 The Motivator – You energize and uplift.
– 💬 The Storyteller – You connect through real-life narratives.
– 🌟 The Visionary – You inspire with the big picture.

We all have a dominant voice—but developing the others makes us more flexible, compelling leaders.

Overcoming the Fear of Speaking

Yes, public speaking still ranks high on the fear charts. But fear is just excitement without direction. You can channel it:

– Reframe nerves as energy
– Visualize success before speaking
– Use grounding tools like power poses and affirmations (“I am a leader when I speak.”)
– Practice, practice, practice

Final Thoughts: Speak Easy, Speak Well

At the end of the day, speaking well isn’t about sounding smart. It’s about making people feel seen, understood, and inspired to act.

As Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said… but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.”

So next time you speak—whether to a packed room or a single colleague—remember: you’re not just talking.

You’re leading.

Goals are Flexible. Values are Not.

One of the things that happens when people start to do values work is that they confuse their goals with their values. They think because they are focused on a particular goal, they must value that goal. For example, if a person is focused on earning $1,000,000 by the time they’re 25, they must really value money. Or if they are focused on losing weight they must really value being thin.

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Stop Waiting to be Happy

Let me tell you about my friend Dana. Dana spent years waiting to get married. She’d longed to be a wife and mother since she was in college. She started her own cake decorating business that was quite successful. She had a large group of friends who loved her, and she was active in her community.

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